


kiss me once, kiss me twice

by coldwinterrose



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Goodbyes, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Reunions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-04 01:22:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15830844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldwinterrose/pseuds/coldwinterrose
Summary: A series of one-shots chronicling the many kisses between Steve and Bucky.





	1. goodbye, goodbye, goodbye my love

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a series of one-shots that will sometimes be connected, sometimes not, and was inspired by [this post](http://jynladyofstardust.tumblr.com/post/176460283476/kissing-prompts). 
> 
> The title of the work is from "It's been a Long, Long Time" which I maintain is the most Stucky song there is, and them playing it in the movie where Steve finds out Bucky is alive just further proves it for me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three times Bucky kissed Steve goodbye...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from [Goodbye by Avril Lavigne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvtBl7oH9As&t=0s&list=WL&index=149).

Bucky tried his best to focus on packing the last of his things in his duffle, choosing to ignore Steve, who was sitting on their bed, silently brooding. Bucky knew he wasn’t the reason Steve was acting surly, but the fact that he was off to boot camp while Steve was forced to stay at home. Bucky just happened to be the closest target for Steve’s anger at the moment, which Bucky understood but still annoyed him. It wasn’t his fault the Army had common sense and said no. Personally, Bucky doubted his ability to even survive basic training, what with all the ailments he had.

“It’s only going to be for eight weeks, Steve. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Steve ignored him, as he’d been doing pretty much the whole morning, which made Bucky roll his eyes. Maybe Steve wanted to spend their last moments in sullen silence, but damn if he was.

“Steve.”

“What,” he said, not bothering to look up from the book he was pretending to read.

He threw the last pair of socks in his pack and walked over to Steve, who still refused to look at him.

“ _Steve_ ,” he said as he snatched the book from Steve’s hand and threw it on the bed.

“ _What_ ,” he snapped as he finally looked at Bucky for the first time since they woke up that morning.

“I’m leaving in a half hour, is this really how you want to spend it? Sitting there pissed at me for something I had no choice over?”

Steve gave one last glare before sighing in defeat. “No. Sorry.”

“C’mere,” he said as he pulled Steve off the bed. “I gotta go say goodbye to my folks in a couple minutes.”

Steve stood, and Bucky wrapped his arms around him as tightly as he dared. “I love you so much, Steve. Please don’t forget that.”

He felt Steve smile and press a small kiss against his neck. “I know Buck. I’m sorry. I really am trying.”

Bucky sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of Steve’s head. “I know you are. And if I could stay here, I would.”

Steve leaned back and scowled. “I’d rather go with you.”

“I know you would,” he tried to placate him. This was not the time to have that argument again. It didn’t help that Steve was under the impression Bucky enlisted instead of being drafted. He still wasn’t sure how Steve would react to that bit of information, and he never wanted to find out. “But, for now, you gonna let me leave without some sugar, honey?”

Steve rolled his eyes, but he cracked a small smile. “Your lines are still bad, Barnes.”

“Yeah, well, they landed me you, didn’t they?”

“Nah. Pretty sure that was just your good looks.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Get over here, you punk,” he said as he pulled Steve in for a kiss.

Steve’s lips touched his, and it took self-control he had not to lose himself in those soft lips as he normally allowed himself to. Instead, he focused on pouring all the love, the longing, how much he would miss Steve, everything he felt but didn’t quite have the words to say, into the kiss. 

Steve stood on his toes as he deepened the kiss, Bucky’s hand wrapped around his neck to keep him in place. His other arm braced Steve’s back, supporting him so as not to hurt him, as Steve wrapped both his arms around Bucky’s neck, clinging to him. 

Far, far too soon, it was time for him to leave. With one last soft press of lips, he stepped out of Steve’s arms. He gently cupped Steve’s cheek and softly said, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered back.

“Promise me something?” 

“Yeah?”

“Let my ma and Becca help you? I don’t want to come back home to find you on Death’s door, or worse.”

Steve took a deep breath but nodded. “I promise.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now go before you’re late.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going.” he said as he walked out of the door, praying he would get to see Steve again, that Steve would survive without him.

* * *

The cold whipped around their tent as Bucky curled in closer, clinging to Steve for warmth. As much as he resented a lot of what the serum did to Steve, he had to admit turning him into a living heater was one of the few good things. He was sure, if he didn’t have Steve here, he would have frozen to death it was so cold.

Sadly, they didn’t have a lot of time left to cuddle, and Steve was already starting to stir next to him. Unlike Steve, who’d managed to drift off quickly after they’d turned in for the night, sleep had been elusive, his nerves getting the better of him. Not for the mission itself per se, he and the other Commandos had done far stupider things than jumping on a moving train, but of whom they were going to secure on this mission. Steve even tried to have him sit this one out, knowing Bucky still had nightmares of that monster of a doctor hovering over him as he lay strapped to a table, unable to get away. He insisted though on coming, refusing to let fear get the better of him. Besides, maybe seeing the fear on the doctor’s face as he realized he was cornered might be worth it. 

So, here he was on what had to be the coldest place on Earth, about to make an insanely dangerous jump to capture a mad doctor, so if he wanted to cuddle the man he loved for a few more minutes, he felt the world owed him that.

Steve apparently didn’t agree as he sat up and stretched. “Come on, Buck, up and at ‘em.”

“Nooo,” he moaned as he rolled over, burying his head in the crook of his arm.

Steve, damn him, just chuckled and pulled him into a sitting position.

“You know, I miss the days you couldn’t drag me outta bed. I could sleep in as long as I wanted.”

“Yeah, and you were always running late.”

“Worth it, for a few extra minutes of sleep.”

“Well, after this, we’ll have a couple days of R&R, and you can sleep all you want.”

“God I can’t wait. I miss sleeping in a real bed. Remind me to never go camping again after this.”

“I think we’ll have had more than our fill of the great outdoors after this,” Steve agreed. “Now, come on, let’s get a fire started, see if we can’t make some hot coffee.”

Bucky groaned, “Yes, please. But, first,” he said before Steve could open the flap to their tent, and reached up to give him a quick peck on the lips. 

Steve returned the peck and smiled. “Come on, let’s get this done so we can kiss in a real bed.”

“Yessir!”

* * *

It wasn’t fair, Bucky though, as they stood waiting for the Wakandan soldiers to finish assembling. He’d just found peace, a sanctuary, a _home_ when he’d never expected to find one again. He finally got to be with Steve, free of fear that society would kill them for even looking at the other for a little too wrong. And now all of it was being threatened by a megalomaniacal alien who wanted to end the universe, or whatever his mad plans were.

Steve walked over, a shield secured to each arm and a grim look on his face. It was a look he’d grown to hate over the past couple years, and for that reason alone Bucky wished he could have a shot at the alien bastard, for daring to ruin the little happiness he’d found.

“Buck—”

“Don’t Steve. I’m coming.” They’d had this conversation once already today, and he would not be swayed from his decision. Their entire world was being threatened, he couldn’t think of a better reason to get out and fight.

Steve nodded. “Okay.”

“I…,” he trailed off, sacred to say the words, not wanting this to be the last time he could tell Steve how much he loved him.

Steve, as always, knew what Bucky was trying to say. “Yeah, me too.”

“Just, don’t do anything too stupid, please? For me?”

“I’ll try,” Steve said, and it was good of a promise he knew he’d been getting out of him. At least he hadn’t tried to lie and say he wouldn’t.

The signal was given for them to head out to the battlefield, and before Steve could head to one of the transport vehicles, Bucky stopped him. “Wait.”

“Yeah,” Steve asked as he turned back to Bucky

“I just… can I…,” he cupped Steve’s cheek with his hand, letting the gesture communicate the request he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

Steve smiled a soft, sad smile, and leaned down, pressing his lips to Buckys. It wasn’t the kiss he wished they had the time for, but it was soft and sweet and perfect all on its own.

After a second, Steve pulled back. “Come on, we have to go.

Bucky nodded and shouldered his weapon, praying to any and all gods that might exist they weren’t going to their deaths.


	2. I'd be lost without you (until the last of days)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...and three times Steve kissed Bucky after getting him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from [The Last of Days by A Fine Frenzy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y31rhdyEmXE)

Steve walked to his tent, exhausted from the hours-long lecture he’d endured from Phillips as well as the many thanks he’d received from the men he’d helped to liberated. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to finally change into a clean pair of clothes then finally find out how Bucky was doing. The whole time in the commander’s tent it was all he could do to not run out in the middle of the dressing down he was receiving and barge into the med tent to find out just how bad off Bucky was. 

For once, though, the universe appeared to be kind to him, and he entered the tent to find Bucky knocked out on his cot.

Steve was loathed to wake him, he looked so peaceful, and it was clear he needed all the sleep he could get. But after a few minutes he gave in and gently shook Bucky by the shoulder.

“Buck. Hey, wake up.”

He didn’t know what to expect, but Bucky shooting up and grabbing Steve’s arm as if to attack him wasn’t it. He felt foolish for not expecting it though, given all he’d clearly been through.

Thankfully Bucky snapped out of it quickly and let go of Steve’s arm. “Sorry,” he said as he rubbed at his eyes.

“No, no, I’m sorry. I really should have known better. You okay?”

Bucky sat up and shifted over to give Steve room to sit down. “Doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me. They took some blood samples, but otherwise said I was free to go. Asked around to find out where you were bunked, and decided to wait for you here.”

“Sorry I took so long. Phillips wasn’t exactly happy with me.”

“Yeah, the upper brass don’t exactly like when you don’t follow orders. Honestly, I’m surprised they let you go this quickly,” he said with a small huff of laughter.

“I think they wanted to keep me longer, but given I just liberated an entire base singlehandedly _and_ told them I knew where the others were, I think they felt it would be in their best interest to not court marshal me.”

“Small miracle. Though what possessed you to even try that, I don’t want to know. I knew you were reckless, Rogers, but I didn’t think you were _that_ reckless.”

“ _You_ did, Buck. I… I couldn’t stand the thought of you dying in a place like that. The second I heard you were MIA, it was all I could think about, getting there, saving you if I could, avenging you if I couldn’t. I would have walked there if Peggy and Howard wouldn’t have given me a lift on that airplane.”

“Please tell me you’re kidding, Steve. _Please_ tell me you didn’t seriously consider walking across enemy lines all by yourself.”

Steve shrugged, unrepentant. “I had to do something. I couldn’t just sit here, not knowing. I would never have forgiven myself.”

“You stupid, reckless bastard. You could have died! This isn’t like the back alleys back home, Steve. You can’t just do dumbass shit like that and expect it to turn out okay!”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“No! Clearly, you don’t! Tell me something, Steve. How long was I gone before you got yourself signed up for whatever crazy experiment that turned you into Superman, huh?”

“Um…. I might have signed up at the fair,” he mumbled, scared to piss Bucky off further but not willing to lie to him.

Under any other circumstance, Steve would have laughed at how wide Bucky’s eyes got and how quickly the vein in his forehead popped out, but even he wasn’t that stupid.

“Jesus fucking Christ Steve! I can’t leave you alone for five goddamn minutes, can I?"

“You’re one to talk, Buck! If I hadn’t’ve done what I did, you would have _died_! Say what you will, but I refuse to apologize, especially when changing anything would mean you gone forever. And where would that have left me, huh? All alone in Brooklyn, probably dead by the time winter hit, that’s where!”

They both looked at each other, chests heaving with anger, before they both moved at the same time, grabbing the other in a desperate kiss. 

He lost himself in that kiss, forcing himself to memorize the taste of Bucky, the feel of his lips. He never wanted to forget the feeling of Bucky’s hand on him, gripping desperately to his jacket, trying to pull him closer. Steve wasn’t any better, hands clutching at the back of Bucky’s head and neck as tightly as he dared, never wanting to let him go again.

After a couple minutes Bucky broke away though. “Sorry. You never know who might walk in.”

Steve nodded, understanding. “Sorry for yelling at you.”

“Me, too. Though I’m still not exactly happy with all of this,” he gestured in Steve’s general direction. “Mostly because I could have lost you and probably never found out. But… thank you. For saving me.”

“Always. Just promise me something.”

“Yeah?”

“Never scare me like that again.”

“I’ll try,”

* * *

When the call came, telling him that Bucky was finally ready to see him, Steve had been in the middle of a mission. Normally he wouldn’t ever consider leaving his team in the middle of a mission, but they insisted, claiming he’d be too distracted to concentrate. While he wanted to argue, he knew they were giving him the excuse he needed, and he took it gratefully.

He arrived in Wakanda, a ball of nerves sitting in his chest reminding him almost the asthma he used to have. Just because Bucky asked to see him, that didn’t really mean much of anything. He could have been asking out of obligation, a debt he might’ve felt he owed to Steve. If that was the case, he would reassure Bucky that he wasn’t owed anything, and if Bucky didn’t want to see him after that, he would be okay with it. It would hurt, but he would never tell him that. Bucky didn’t need to have anymore on his conscience than he already had.

Instead of being directed to the palace as he expected he was instead sent to a small village. There he was further pointed to a small farm, which was the last place he expected to find Bucky.

He walked up the dirt road to find a small house surrounded by goats, who came up to him bleating as he walked toward the front gate. The noise must have alerted Bucky, who came outside to see what the racket was about.

They both stood frozen, just staring at each other. Bucky looked so different from the last time he’d seen him. Before, he’d been pale, looking like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in far too long. Now, he had a glow about him, one that didn’t have to do with the tan he’d clearly gotten working out in the warm Wakandan sun. He looked so good, so happy, and while it had hurt to leave Bucky here, frozen in a cryotube, it clearly had been the right choice.

He wasn’t sure what Bucky thought about his disheveled appearance, his hair far longer than it had ever been, and a beard he’d never have been able to grow back in the 30’s. Before he could start to fidget under Bucky’s gaze, he walked up to open the gate, smiling. 

“Hey, Steve. You’re here sooner than I expected. I was under the impression you were on a mission.”

“I was. It wasn’t anything big though, so I left the rest of the team to take care of it,” he said, looking down and scratched the back of his neck, too embarrassed to tell the truth.

Bucky clearly still knew all his tells though, since he gave him a look that said he didn’t buy his bullshit for a second, but let it go as he gestured for him to come inside.

The place was small but not cramped. A bed was in one corner, and a table with a couple chairs was in what appeared to be the kitchen area on the other side. There was also a couple small reading chairs near a window, as well as a couple bookshelves full of books and knick-knacks. Somehow, despite it being so different from their old apartment back in Brooklyn, it instantly felt like home to him. 

“Come on in, feel free to put your stuff anywhere. I’m almost done making lunch, you hungry?”

“Always,” he said, putting his bag in the empty corner near the door, not wanting to come off as too presumptive, as he made his way over to help Bucky with whatever he was working on.

“Nope. You’ve had a long journey. You just get washed up and take a seat.”

“But—”

He just gave Steve the same look he used to give him whenever he tried to get up to do anything while he was sick. Not wanting to argue so soon after just arriving, he held up his hands in defeat, washed his hands in the small sink, and sat down in one of the chairs. 

A few minutes later Bucky brought over two plates of sandwiches and fruit, as well as bowls full of vegetable soup. They spent the meal making small talk. It was clear that Bucky wasn’t quite ready for more than that, and Steve was more than happy to go at his pace.

Eventually, the meal was finished and the dishes were put in the sink to be cleaned later. Bucky took a deep breath, as if bracing for a blow. “Steve, I know I asked you to come out here, but I just want to make it clear that I don’t expect anything more than you’re willing to give me. After all I’ve done, if all you feel for me is just friendship, I’ll understan—”

Not even letting him finish that ridiculous statement, he decided actions would speak louder than words and gathered Bucky in his arms. He made sure to telegraph his moves, making it clear he was going in for a kiss as he cupped Bucky cheek with one hand before bending down slowly to meet his lips. Slow apparently wasn’t what Bucky wanted though, as he threw his arm around Steve, closing the gap and pressing his lips to Steve’s. 

He thought he remembered what it was like to kiss Bucky, but the memory of it paled to the reality. It didn’t last long, after all, they still had so much to discuss, to make sure they were on the same page, but it was, in Steve’s mind, the best kiss of his life.

* * *

Shock and disbelief still coursed through him as Tony and the woman who called herself Nebula landed their ship, _the Milano_ , one of the people they’d picked up on Titan insisted it was called. Frankly, Steve didn’t care what it was called, so long as it could get them to Earth quickly.

They hovered just outside the border, the Wakandans understandably not willing to reopen the forcefield until they knew who exactly they were opening them up for. Once they received clearance, they landed the ship in the field where Steve lived out the worst day of his life. It was a place he’d once never wanted to see again but was now practically vibrating with energy as the ship touched down. 

Tony glanced at him as he made his way over to the door, wanting off as soon as possible. Things were still not that great between them, but it was better than it had been before the mess with Thanos. At best they had a foundation laid to start over, build a friendship based on mutual respect.

The doors opened, and there was already a transport waiting to take them to the palace. A few Wakandan soldiers, the sentient tree Steve remembered seeing on the battlefield, as well as most of the Avengers lost in the snap were all waiting to greet them. 

Steve only had eyes for one person though. Ever since he saw Bucky disintegrate to ash right in front of him, the echo of his name the only thing left behind, it was all Steve had been able to see, every time he closed his eyes. He knew he would keep reliving that moment over and over until he knew Bucky was safe and whole.

Bucky, as always, was on the same page. The second Steve came into view, he was already jumping from the vehicle, running for Steve at full tilt. Once the gap was wide enough for him to fit through, Steve was doing the same. They crashed into each other as lips met for a desperate kiss, teeth clacking almost painfully. He thought he tasted blood as his tongue met Bucky’s, and he wasn’t sure whose it was, but at that moment it didn’t matter. All that matter at that moment pouring all his love, his sadness, his anger, every emotion he’d felt into the kiss. 

It could have been minutes or hours, he couldn’t be sure, but eventually, the need for air outweighed the desire to keep kissing, so they parted, chest heaving. Steve leaned his forehead on Bucky’s, not willing to be too far away.

“Welcome home,” he whispered as their lips brushed together in another soft kiss.

“You too, Steve,” Bucky said back, those words sounding like heaven to his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter fought me more than I expected, but it's done. Let me know what you think! More will be coming, hopefully soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title from [Goodbye by Avril Lavigne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvtBl7oH9As&t=0s&list=WL&index=149).
> 
> There is a follow-up chapter to this, I promise! I'm not so evil as to have Bucky leave Steve three times and not let them reunite.


End file.
